Where you gonna say you caught these fish?

Lies, Damned Lies, Statistics and TSPLOST
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Augusta, GA
By Al Gray

When Mark Twain described the 3 kinds of lies it was about the art of deception. We find about those too late.

Back in 1990 or so, I was returning to Evans one Friday afternoon after a week on my job down in Effingham County. The evening before I had gone fishing on the lower Savannah River and caught a tremendous number of Bluegills, which were on ice in the back of my truck.

Driving up Millhaven Road approaching Girard, there was a beaver pond on the right close to a high tension power line. As I got closer, I saw the head and shoulders of a man fishing in the pond. Having a busy weekend ahead made for a sudden plan to give away my fish.

I pulled off the road, shut off the engine, and rolled down the window. I said “ Hey…you having any luck?” He said, “Not much, I only catched this lil ole brim,” as he held up a stringer with a fish about the size of 3 fingers. “I don’t believe there are many fish in this hole.” And I asked him, “Would you like a mess of about 35 fish?” He said, “ Sho’ would, I wuz about to give it up, its so hot out heah!” He told me his name was Alonzo and asked if I could give him a ride back to “J-rod.”

After we got to his house and transferred the fish from my cooler to his, he insisted on giving me a few $dollars for the fish and the ride. Just before I pulled away I asked Alonzo, “Where are you gonna tell your buddies you caught these fish?” He laughed and said, “Ah’m gonna tell ’em I catched them in dat beavah pond!”

I forgot about the whole exchange over the weekend, until late Sunday afternoon on the trip back, just south of J-Rod there were a bunch of cars parked on the shoulder. They were alongside that beaver pond, and there was a whole row of folks fishing.

Never believe a politician or a fisherman. They will have you fishing in an empty pond catching only snags and mosquito bites.***


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